Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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