she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
