we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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