we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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