hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
