I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
