I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
