you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
