i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize