I wish my penis had an off switch
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
