i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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