Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
