its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
