We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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