its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
