we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
