You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize