Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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