So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
