Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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