real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize