sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
