ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
