Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
