is your mom at the bar?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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