i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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