Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
