Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she pinky promised me she was 18
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
