Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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