why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
