too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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