i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize