Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
