Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Who died my cat blue again?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
