At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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