When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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