He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
