how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My penis needs a shock collar
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
