New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize