I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
