Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
