I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
the raccoons are back...
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