You really coming over, don't trick.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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