hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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