I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
