Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
