pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
