i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
