No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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