only if we run a train.
done.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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