the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
