In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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