Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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