I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize