Do vagina's smell?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize