All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
