We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
