ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
