you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
