I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize