Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
