Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
