I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
This is my gift to your gina
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize