I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
