how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize