but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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