just come out here and I will go home with you...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
