my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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