Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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