So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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