is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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